ganya manya rants

email chatter de jour

This is an email exchange over a day with a bunch of ex-colleagues who are trying to find out if Mr. T (all names have been changed) got hitched recently.

Actors:In order of appearance
People - Roles
Mr. C - Badgerer 1
Ms. A - Badgerer 2
Mr. J - Badgerer 3
Mr. B - Badgerer 4
Mr. T - The Badgered

Mr. C wrote: To All,It appears Full Disclosure has not occurred with one member of our littleNCAA group. It appears Mr. T has been dating Sharon Lee and did notwant to tell anyone about it. Must I stress the need for us all to betruthful to one another or pay the verbal assualt consequences.Call to Action - Please begin the email assualt on Mr. T until fulldisclosure occurs.Thanks,C
Ms. A wrote: Mr. C, when it took you over a year to tell us you'd been datingAmber, I don't think you have any ground on which to stand in thisdiscussion.Not to mention, Sharon Lee? Gag me with a spoon. I think Mr. T woulddate a man before he dated her.
Mr. J wrote (we are a bit racist): Nothing wrong with a little Asian persuasion..:)
Ms. A wrote: Mr. J, are you jaundiced?
Mr. C wrote: I knew it. Coming to the protection of Mr. T. Is your nickname Condom? Iwouldn't expect anything less from you.
Mr. J wrote: No that would be agent orange my dear.
Ms. A wrote: Dang, for a minute I thought you had yellow fever
Mr B wrote: She was his 'subordinate' at work.
Mr C wrote: Maybe they were "testing" their love in those private one on one meetings. And the code word for those meetings was "I can't stand Mr. C."
Ms. A wrote: Gives a whole new meaning to "under the table and dreaming." No wonder the poor thing couldn't stay late to work, she was all tuckered out.
Mr. C wrote: I have one question Mr. T.....Was Sharon logging any bugs or defects regarding performance?
Ms. A wrote: Mr. T's glad we weren't doing "upward feedback" at that time.
Mr. C wrote: At Mr. T's age it's probably more 70 degree feedback. Was the defect being logged a P1 (Severe) or a P4 (cosmetic)?Mr. T, just let us know who your dating and the verbal assualt will stop
Ms. A wrote: Is that why all the defects had to go through Mr. T to be assigned? I wonder if anyone ever reviewed the "Closed-Not a Defect" list.
Mr. J wrote: I did notice that there were a fair amount of performance issues logged with the application... hmm now it makes sense
Mr T wrote (finally): Nothing like having a really shitty day, followed by a delayed flight to
Boise, and logging in to read this dribble. I had such higher hopes after the phone calls I received earlier. What I didn't realize was the requirement to "register" each home run (excluding the solo shot to left field). Let me put the rumor to rest that I am not dating. Playing the field, yes. Shag like a rock star, yes. Have them flying in mid-week for a repeat performance and another shot to dead center, yes. And to put it in horse racing terms, I only play the phillies. - Ace Bigelo
Mr. C wrote:
Hey Mr. T,
When someone hasn't even been to the batter's box finally hits a homerun not only is it newsworthy but it should be communicated on a broad scale
Ms. A wrote: Just for clarification, did Mr. T just tell us he's a Philly fan? Like those men in uniform eh? Or were you trying to say that beastiality's best?
Mr. J wrote: I think he may be the DH or better yet a pinch runner in this case. Din Ho
Mr. C wrote: So in essence someone did all the work and Mr. T just got inserted into the game. Did I hear someone screaming BALK?
Mr. J wrote: I think the commish (Mr. C) found some pine tar on Mr. T's bat, not sure how that got there. I thought that MLB only played exhibition games in Japan during pre-season. I guess they have mid-season exhibitionist games as well.
Mr. T wrote (completely exasperated): Good god, somebody tell a guy when he needs to shave his neck. Glad I cleaned my ears that day.
Ms. A wrote: I thought you had your neck shaving schedule in your 'How To Be a Metrosexual' book.
Mr. T wrote: I don't have a live in tart to do these things.
Mr. C wrote: Ms. A are you living with a tart?
Ms. A wrote: Well she wouldn't sleep with you. Though that may just be an indication of good common sense as opposed to lack of tartness.
Mr. C wrote: She wouldn't sleep with me because I asked her to turnover. Get the story straight next time!!!!!
Ms. A wrote: Funny, I thought it was when you asked her to put on the strap-on and started calling her Tiny.
Mr. T wrote: Is it poor form to scream your own name?
Mr. B wrote: As long as it's not "mommy mommy" ...

posted by ganpatibapa @ 5:48 PM